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Featured
story for the month |
 Mary Foley sat through the whole of the four-week
trial of 18-year old Beatriz Martins-Paes, her daughter's killer, at London's Old Bailey
in March 2006. At first, Mary had been consumed by fury and disbelief at the loss of
her 'beautiful baby' Charlotte and, unsurprisingly, felt only bitterness towards her
daughter's killer. But as she sat through the trial her emotions began to change.
Gradually, she felt anger give way to a desire to help her daughter's killer.
She forgave Beatriz then, and now wants to offer a maternal guidance and comfort to
her.
On 10 April 2005, 15-year old Charlotte Foley left her home in Stratford,
East London, and after spending time with her father, went on to a friend's 16-year
birthday party.
Beatriz Martins- Paes had an
ongoing feud with one of Charlotte's friends and wanted to confront her rival at the
party. But the girl did not turn up - instead, Charlotte was to become her victim. They
argued after bumping each other on the dance floor and Martins-Paes followed Charlotte to
an upstairs room and stabbed her once, piercing her heart. As Charlotte's friends rushed
to help her, Martins-Paes fled and was quickly arrested. Meanwhile, Charlotte's life ebbed
away.
'It was after 1 am when the
phone woke me up. It was one of Charlotte's friends,' remembers Mary. 'She was
totally distraught and said: "Charlotte's been stabbed, she's in hospital" Then
the phone went dead. Next, the police rang and said they'd take us to the hospital. By the
way they were driving, I knew it was very serious. At the hospital, I was led to a
room. A nurse and two doctors came in. The nurse just said: "I'm so sorry,
Charlotte's dead."
'I just couldn't believe it was
true. There was no way I could begin to take in the fact she was gone. I hadn't even had a
chance to say goodbye. The following day, we went to identify her body. I stared at her -
a sheet covered her up to her neck and she still looked alive, just lying there so
peacefully. I prayed that some miracle would happen and she would start breathing.
'At the trial, at first I felt:
"You hurt my baby, you killed my baby." I wrestled with that - forgiveness did
not come immediately.'
Martins-Paes admitted manslaughter but denied murder. The
jury heard how she'd gone to the party with two knives hidden in her handbag,
which she claimed were for self-defence. She sobbed as she told the court: 'None of
this was supposed to happen. It was just a mistake.'
The girl's troubled background was described. She had a history
of violence and had drawn up a hit list of 18 people to kill. Even while on remand,
she attacked a woman police officer. Her father, Julio Martins-Paes, is currently
wanted by police in connection with the attempted murder of her mother, Natercia.
She was found guilty of murder and on 20 March was sentenced to life with a minimum of 14
years to be served.
Mary recognises that
forgiving Beatriz doesn't mean thinking she shouldn't be imprisoned: 'I think justice has
been done - her sentence will send out a strong message to other young people considering
carrying a knife.' But while she agrees with the strong sentence, Mary, a devout
Christian, refuses to write off her daughter's murderer.
'No one's there for her and she
thinks she's worthless. I can try to fill that gap in her life and be the person who
believes she has something positive to offer. In a way I feel maternal towards her. Maybe
because I'm Charlotte's mum, I can influence her to learn something while she's in
prison.'
Reveal Magazine, 15 April 2006 |
Index of
stories illustrating the dimensions of forgiveness |
A better way than 'justice' - The Interpreter (Randolf,
Frank & Zaillian)
A forgiving town : Warrington - Michael Henderson
A gift he does not deserve - John Arnott
A guy in a hole (The West Wing) - Aaron Sorkin
"A little bit brave" (The West Wing) -
Aaron Sorkin
A mother forgives her son's killers - BBC News
A place for forgiveness to aim
for - Andrew Knock
A poet's release - Victor Parachin
After false accusation - Joseph Bernardin
An elder brother returns home - Henri Nouwen
As foolish as you (from 'Friends') - Gregg
Malins and Scott Silveri
Bishop asks forgiveness for supporting Iraq war - Tom
Frame
Bono calls for debt forgiveness - BBC News
Building someone a new roof
- BBC documentary
Business improves when people apologise - Jeff
Grabmeier
Compassion for under-age sex - Ananova News
Deeper friendship - Anne Naylor
Discernment and healing - Smith Wigglesworth
Divorce services in German churches - News Ananova
Doing favours and gaining power - Puzo and Coppola
(The Godfather)
Don't play by the rules (Dharma and Greg) - Chuck Lorre
Don't sack, show compassion - Associated Press
Ending a marriage - Susan Reimer
Excuses and transferring blame - J R R Tolkien
Father and son - Ernest Hemingway
Forgive us our international debts - Bill Clinton
Forgiveness for the Holocaust? - Albert Friedlander
Forgiveness: the cost of doing business - Aaron
Sorkin
Forgiveness is so very human - Steve Goodier
Forgiving a murderer - Wendy Cole
Forgiving each other - Stanley Cavell
Forgiving my daughter's killer - Marietta Jaeger
Forgiving my father - Kate Morrow
Forgiving myself - John Wimber
Free to choose? - David & Stephen Koepp
Gandalf and Saruman: an exchange - J R R Tolkien
Gossip and evil - Lori Palatnik & Bob Burg
Grace in a 'bad' man - Mike Yaconelli
Having a past - William Willimon
Hillary Clinton on forgiveness - Hillary
Clinton
His failure is your failure - Juan Carlos Ortiz
How many times? - Harry Farra
How much is it worth? - The Desert Fathers
I am in no position to condemn others - Paul Reid
I bear no grudge - Gordon Wilson
I cannot forgive him - Corrie Ten Boom
I like imperfection
- Sandra Bullock & Jordan Riefe
I too have transgressed - Seiji Takaku
"I was wrong" - Aaron Sorkin (The West Wing)
If I were in his place - Paul Tournier
Imitation and conformity - John O'Donohue
Imprisoned yet released - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Indonesian urges forgiveness after his release -
Open Doors USA
Judge's mercy and wife's forgiveness - AP report
Justice and reconciliation in East Timor - Catherine
Napier
Justice is good; mercy is better - John Arnott
Letting go of hatred for the Holocaust - Harold
Schulweis
Letting it go - coldly - Francis Ford Coppola &
Mario Puzo
Listening without recoil - Helen Bamber
Love and forgiveness - David Watson
Loving your enemy - Francis Frangipane
Lying gets into the culture - Jeffrey MacDonald
Mandela - leadership in reconciliation - Desmond Tutu
Metaphors for forgiveness in South Korea - Prince
Charles Oteng-Boateng
Moral complexities and Jesse Jackson - Tony
Allen-Mills
Mother pleads for mercy - BBC News
National Reconciliation in Ghana - Justice Amua-Sekyi
New organs, new life - AP/BBC
No problem - Juan Carlos Ortiz
Nobody looks good that close up - Ann Donahue (CSI)
Northern Ireland / Standford Hope Project - Fred
Luskin
Notting Hill -
Richard Curtis
Olive trees for Palestine - Shalom Center
Paid the fine - Nicky Gumbel
People may be expendable - (U-571)
Pity - J R R Tolkien
Planting a seed - Hasidic tale
Policeman and robber in Wyoming - Angus Thuermer
Practical forgiveness - Jennifer Kavanaugh / Fred
Luskin
Prayers not condemnation when marriage ends - Daily
Telegraph
Prince Charles: no longer victims of history -
Michael Henderson
Professor launches forgiveness course - Ananova
Racial division and forgiveness - Colin Tipping
Repentance is not forgetting - Søren Kierkegaard
'Scientific' forgiveness - ABC News
Scottish victims give life to Palestinian girl - BBC
News
Seeing into a killer's mind - Suezann Bosler
Seeing people for what they are - Billy Burns
& Stephen Korsa-Acquah
Seeing the real source of our pain - Judea Pearl
Seeking forgiveness in Egypt - BBC News
Student loan forgiveness - Scholarship Resource Network
Sparing him greater grief - The Desert Fathers
Spiritual midwife - Andrew Knock
Stolen money - Margami Mohammad
Success, blame and a sinner - William Willimon
Talking with an IRA bomber - Stuart Wavell
The death penalty doesn't 'close' anything -
Ronald Carlson
The Forgiveness Chit - Kentucky Spiritual Growth Network
The holiness of the gaze - John O'Donohue
The letter or the spirit - Juan Carlos Ortiz
The relationship not the issue - Bryan Bell
The Spanish Prisoner - David Mamet
The West Wing : larger worlds - Aaron Sorkin
The void of benign neglect - Susan Reimer
There indeed by the grace of God go I - The Desert
Fathers
They'd just make me feel worse - Philip Yancey
Trondheim: merciful justice - Simon Hattenstone
Truth and reconciliation in Sierra Leone - Joyce
Mulama
UN considers Restorative Justice guidelines - RJ.org
Unique moments - Martin Buber
US Episcopalians say sorry to Iraq victims - Bill Bowder
Vengeance chic - Jason White
Wait a minute - John Jewell
Wanting to calm my fears - Dale Wolery
What I have cleansed - Ray Stedman
What we do with what happens - Elizabeth Ruth Obbard
When churches prevent forgiveness - John MacArthur
(& others)
When they destroyed my work - Gregory David Roberts
Why ask for my forgiveness? - Michael Rosen
Writing off bad debts - John Arnott
Yom Kippur : Acknowledging my wrongs - Miriam
Weinstein
You are still carrying her - The Desert Fathers |
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